Sunday, 12 October 2014

WARNING! Our heroes fade away...

So, yesterday, I visited my uncle’s village. It’s a beautiful small group of houses hidden in the mountains. It has a lake not far from his house, and a beautiful lonely church standing a bit aside from the main village, as if watching the people from above. I am more of a sea person, but I kind of enjoy nature in all its forms… If it ever came to a choice between mountains and the sea, I‘d definitely go with the sea option. Yet, nature amazes me in every possible way. Laying in the grass, watching the sky and admiring the lake while the only music around me comes from the bird singing and the winds soft whisper in the tree leaves… it’s like a fairytale! It’s freedom!






As a city child, I ‘ve never had had the opportunity of spending hours running in the wild, exploring caves and forests or swimming on a lake – possibly searching for all sort of magical creatures and treasures hiding out there. On the contrary I was spending my time reading books about unicorns and fairies, warlocks and witches and dreaming of the moment that this world of magic would finally open its doors to me! I believed that, just like Alice, I would drop into a rabbit’s hole or maybe a fairy would fly one night through my window and take me to a magical place hidden between the stars. Sometimes, I even imagined finding a dragon and with him I‘d travel the world or sailing all the way through the sunset with a golden ship made of sunshine. God knows how many years I‘ve waited for my Hogwarts letter to arrive – wondering what might have happened to my owl or how I wished I ‘d discover a wardrobe leading to Narnia.



Day by day, I was adding more and more heroes in my collection. So many, that I could not possibly write about all of them here. It was as if the letters were rising from the white pages of my books forming weird bridges between fantasy and reality. One day I was wearing a mask and a bed sheet pretending to be a great swordsman like Zorro and the next one I was off to an adventure with D’Artanian, Luke Skywalker or the Black Tulip! Oh, and those great trips with the Black Pearl and vicious pirates while plowing across the seven seas? What could I possibly say about them?  Funny how fast a princess can turn into an assassin or an avenger when you are a child , is it not?




I am a grown up girl now. I know, or more likely I got used to the idea that such fairytales and wonderful creatures don’t exist in the real world. I’ve learnt that humans can’t grow wings and that horses cannot fly. I ‘ve learnt all the rules of Chemistry and Physics – with a part of me still hopping that somewhere in there lies the answer of why we can’t find all the wonders we imagine. I also became fond of new heroes. I dreamt of having a chat with Leonardo DaVinci or Newton. I imagined of what it would be like to have a cup of tea with Queen Victoria in the Buckingham palace. I started to dress like Lady Dianna – adding class and style into my everyday life. My whole life I was an undercover cosplayer of all the heroes – both real and not real – who made an impact to my personality. I‘ve met them all. I know them all so well. And still, I carry each and every one of them in my heart.





Even now, even though it’s been a long long time since I started realising that the  Disney princesses where only beautiful drawings with an inspiring message, a part of me denies to accept that all this colourful childhood was only a fraud of writers and directors who played with my mind. I admit that I am still looking forward to the next Disney or Barbie movie. And that the last few years I became a Viking who could tame dragons and a Celtic princess who was extremely talented on archery. I’ve spent a lot of afternoons with the company of young Merlin and Arthur (sometimes making research about the whole Arthurian legend and trying to separate facts from myth with help from the Knight Malory) I laughed and cried with them, sometimes both at the same time to be honest. Then a dear friend of me helped me make an acquaintance with a new kind of Sherlock Holmes. Having read the original tales from Arthur Conan Doyle, I was surprised seeing the weird and vagarious hero being even weirder and an extreme “high functional sociopath” placed in the modern world. At first, it was not pleasant for me to see the hero I’ve always imagined sitting by the fire, using cellphones and acting all crazy-er that the usual Sherlock.





Until now, all I‘ve done was mumbling about my childhood’s and present dreams and illusions. You may wonder “what was the point of even reading all of this”? Well, I can’t help but notice that the last few years children are lacking their childishness. They don’t dream anymore. They don’t go to adventures. They don’t want to spend a day on the wild. They just want stand in front of a computer screen scrolling their way out of their problems. Watching my baby cousin handling a tablet yesterday with such ease it made me wonder: Is technology starting to invade our DNA? We made technology to conquer the world. Instead it starts to consume our lives, stealing our moments and dreams. Most children don’t ask dolls for Christmas anymore only for the new iPhone. That may be quite normal for a teenager, but do you really feel it’s normal for a child? I never wanted a stupid cellphone when I was young. I wanted a unicorn plushie. Don’t you feel like the heroes we so loved are left forgotten and covered in dust while vulgar and precocious Antonella (From the Patty TV show) and more weird creatures (aka Monster high dolls holding coffins and stuff) steal their show? Since when vulgar is a replacement for elegance?  Why bring a child – the very source of life - close to death by giving them creepy looking dolls?  Your kids still have the ability of dreaming. Just teach them the way.






It’s true that even though I have spent countless nights searching among the stars I never found a way to Neverland and that, at least until now, I ‘ve never found a secret door leading to Wonderland. Still, sometimes, a voice, like a whisper in my mind tells me that maybe this little secret path does exist. If not, how could people write about all those thing? Was Tolkien crazy? I seriously doubt it. I came to discover that maybe this entrance hides somewhere in this world. And if we cannot literally cross paths with it within a magic cave or an enchanted forest we will definitely find it inside our hearts. I know how to dream. I know how to grow wings. I’ve learnt how to fly. Do you?
-E.T.




(all rights reserved)

Monday, 1 September 2014

Goodbye Summer! Hello September! Summer-Autumn-tangled thoughts!

Greetings everyone,


I don't know what should I talk about today... To be honest, I just look at the blank piece of paper before me , wandering about what shall I fill it with... At this moment, if I was a painter there would only be one thing I 'd like to draw: A little bit of blue sadness, illuminated with white brushes of  joy and laughter... It's this familiar feeling of the summer slowly coming to an end...


Our little summer company... Most of us left the previous week yet some still remain. As always, I 'd be the very last one to leave. As always I 'll try to absorb every single moment of the summer till it's very end. I 'll watch the small city being deserted little by little... The boats gradually disappearing from our coast. People leaving... The grass will grow wild again, and will soon be dancing to the will of the fall's wind. Soon our so loved azure sky will turn into a canvas of several shades of grey and heavy black clouds 'll start watering the earth with rain drops - all the savings they made during the summer will be wisely spend on every inch of land during the approaching winter.



Yesterday night I was with the kids - those of us who are left. It's a habit of us to spend every night at the beach. We are talking, playing games, having fun... Yet I always take some time off to watch the night sky. Oh, how I love the night sky! I love those stars! I feel like I could spend hours admiring their sparkling beauty! Always exclaim in surprise each time one of them is crossing the deep blue-black velvet of the night. This ravishing golden line separating the sky in two parts merely for some seconds and then vanishing, as if swallowed by darkness, as if the night will not tolerate anyone stealing away her own breathtaking performance. Can you believe it? Those falling stars, this wonderful effect that always takes us by surprise, it's nothing more that a single rock crashing in earths atmosphere while blazing up. A mere rock. Very similar to one of those we use to throw in the water just to watch them splashing the sea surface. A single rock putting up such an effort to make an impression. To curve its existence in silver and gold. To illuminate all it's way to oblivion. Wishes upon a star? I always wanted to wish upon a star. I even tried so many times. I always believed that those wishes will come true. But  while watching the falling the star all I can do is stare in awe and yell " Oh! Look!!! It's a  shooting star!"  with a smile! I constantly forget about my wish. Part of me feels as if I would be abusing the beauty before me if I took advantage of the stars "death" for my own small ambitions and wishes. What about this stars wish? It's wish to engrave it's existence in our memory? Yet, what if each star's fall is a human's wish burning to come true?



With all those questions running through my mind, I stare at the sky every night. So I did yesterday. I could feel an unsightly breeze, barely caressing the silvery surface of the sea. It feels as if its whispering softly a little secret in our ears: "Winter is approaching again...", it said, "Get ready! Summer days will end soon...". And this warning still echoes in my mind.




I like winter, but I kind of adore the summer and I can't help but feel a little depressed knowing that it's over once again. I 'll miss the sea, all the swimming and surfing and playing in the water until the next summer.... Also, fall is such a depressing season...!  Even if the earth is all dressed in gold, and the leaves are dancing around the streets, one can clearly sense that it's this moment of the year where the summer and winter collide and my hear is torn between the enchanting endless blue of the summer and the white majesty of winter (even though it barely snows where I am). Fall feels as if the earth goes back to sleep...


Yet I guess every season has it's own beauties. Summer 2015 we'll wait for you!!! Until then, Hello September! Surprise us! ;) 
-E.
(I just had to add this pic... as a Harry Potter fan I am! :D )

Sunday, 10 August 2014

May I Share With You, My Little Experience?


It's been a long time since I wrote something here... Not sure if it was due to boredom or just loss of interest... Sometimes I find it so hard to express my thoughts that I end up deciding that any attempt is - and always will be - hopeless... Yet this decision is never final. I always find a way back to writing, trying to put up a fight against that hopeless ambition of mine.



In the past years - as I might have mentioned before - I had my greatest dream crashed despite all of my hard tries and efforts to chase it. I really did try my best. I even got so close. And yet the best of me was not enough to achieve my goal. When I raised my hand to grasp that dream of mine, it simply slipped away from my fingers! After that incident, I was kind of wandering in the world just flowing with life, waiting to see where all of this is going to end up to. Which is the final destination? I kind doubt there was any to begin with anymore. It's like a ship metaphor. I 've lost both my destination and my compass and I feel as if I am wandering in this endless ocean of life, following any route the wind on my sails chooses for me. Forgotten and lost for what seams like forever?




I had no real dreams ever since. I was too scared to dream. Afraid to try. Terrified to fail. It was around then that I got used to losing I guess. Let me state here that I am not complaining about anything. I am just stating some facts about that time 2 years ago. As for the dream I make such a fuss around? You may laugh if I tell you but I will anyway, cause I am not ashamed of my dreams, nor of my failures. My failed dream was (is?) to become a doctor. Does that sound childish? To me, it is the ultimate link between life, human and God. I'd have the chance to offer a new hope, another day, an other smile. Being a doctor means to have life flowing from you. I doubt there is any greatest reward than a simple "Thank you" and a smile after a successful operation. The greaest things, and the most valuable ones are not the expensive ones you see. Which would you value the most? A beautiful diamond or the smile of someone you love? Which would you be most sorry to lose?  To me those treasures of the heart: the memories, the feelings, the moments, are the most valuable things in life and the only memento we take with us after our journey here comes to an end. It's the heart and the spirit that defines someones wealth.



Yet, seeing the whole thing from where I stand now, I can see that I was not right to give up everything for one failure. I am sure now that life has a secret plan for everyone, even if it does not always agree to our own ambitions. Ambitions - that right. You see, one day it just occurred to me that some dreams are not as noble as they look. Some dreams are concealed ambitions. Of course this is not a rule - it's more likely an exception of the rule. Maybe I, myself, was punished cause I was too ambitious - because as a selfish being I am - I wanted to be the best. I always wanted to be the best in everything: In my grades, my job, in arts...  I tried e v e r y t h i n g. But there are so many things and so little time! So many directions I don't know which way to turn! Maybe, becoming a doctor is not my gift. Maybe I 'd become a really bad doctor. So by getting me so close to my dream yet failing anyway, life was trying to tell me that "You see? You are so close! But what you ask for is not for you! I got another plan - something you 'll be really good at."



Currently I am studying Pharmacy. I am about to get to the third year now. I still don't know where I am heading to, or what is to come next for me. Remember the ship without compass? The fact that I don't know my destination does not mean that there is none ahead for me. I 've learnt to trust this wind. He knows where I belong better that I do myself. I even dare to dream again! Both real dreams and concealed ambitions. I just give life a chance to show me what is the thing for me.



Being lost could be either a tragedy or an adventure - maybe even both. The point of view is the secret to make the difference. After all, even in fairy tales there are always adventures and tragedies before the happy ending, right? So why not perceive life as a fairytale? Our very own fairytale, with our very own happy ending. I always believed that the best way to know a place is to get lost in it. So let's get lost in the world together! Who knows? Maybe our paths meet one day. If not, we'll surely meet where all the fairytales and the dreams collide.
-E.C.



Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Carpe Diem, Today!




So here we go...! It's March already and I still can't believe it. In my mind I am still trapped somewhere in between Christmas and the New Years Eve. Isn't it strange? People get to go after everything: Fame, wealth, relationships... Yet the ancient demand and one of which leaded the alchemists to set the very foundation of science still remains, often passed unnoticed by the modern age Homo Sapiens. Time. The other one though still remains: gold.






There are moments when I look back and I feel as if my whole life until now was nothing more but the glimpse of a thunder. Just a sudden flash of light, disappearing without leaving any evidence of it's existence in the raging storm. I often feel as if the thread of time slips through my fingers so fast that forces me to run behind every moment. It's as if I am racing against the future while the past is vanishing behind the veil of oblivion, and I am just too busy worrying for all the things to come and the plans I am trying to make based on the unknown. Therefore, I forget that the only thing I have for certain is the present and the scrapbook of memories I'll create from this. I believe this is a common feeling for many other people as well.





Living in the past or the future; either way you cannot enjoy the moment. It's easy to fall in this trap. But it's about time to stop planning the unknown things to come and take action in creating our life based on all we have. In other words: Carpe Diem, grasp the moment, live now - don't leave it for later cause it may be too late by then. That's why I always thought that the greatest gift one can offer is his time, cause it's a part of their lives they'll never get back yet they are sure that it's worth giving it to us.





What is that engages life to beauty? All the little things that hide priceless treasures: The love behind every kiss, the friendship behind every hug, the kindness behind every smile... So, while you walk down the path of life remember: Fight whatever frightens you. Chase anything you ever wanted. Dream big and hunt those dreams until you catch them. Grasp every opportunity. But most importantly; never forget that life only credits the brave ones.





And remember to enjoy every moment! Cause it's unique in it's own special way! 

-E.C.

Monday, 10 February 2014

A Strange Post







Well, these days I  don't really get to have a lot of free time... It's exams season, which means that every kind
of hobby has to be put asside and the usual "exams pattern" of studying all day long becomes the main - if not the only one - part of your daily routine. As a result I neglected a lot of things I usually do in my everyday life...
Such as...





     
           


             ...Beautiful, long walks...







   
   
                   




                      ...Reading a book...






             


 





   
                             ...Writting...










                            ...Playing the quitar...












 
                        ...or trying to learn to play the piano ( Always                                                                               failing, by the way :p )






               ...Movie nights and series evenings...















 
   Yet, life does not have to be perfect to be                                                         wonderful! So...











       
             ...even when studying there are so many                         beautiful things one can enjoy! Such as...


     




       ... Tea ( well, that's great for all times! :p )

















    ...Justified Overeating ( actually we might regret          this part every time we step onto the scale :p )









 

 

    ...But most importatly we learn new things!            Knowledge is indeed power ( <--- Funny quote                 on the left :p Well don't be evil though! :p )
           Learning new things is a wonderful thing!                 Understanding them... well that's priceless!
           Not to metion the satisfaction if succeeded!

   


                                         




             Plus, exams don't last forever! :)










                                             


       Sooo... Study hard! It's woth it in the end!








                                                          Well... Better get back to study...!
                                                                     Wishing you a wonderful day! :)


PS: Thank you for reading this! :)                                                                                                                           -E.